The Death Midwife
Who is the Death Midwife?
Meet Olivia Bareham
Hello, and thank you for visiting the Sacred Crossings website
My name is Olivia and I am known primarily as a death midwife, but am also a dedicated student of the Mystery, a teacher, healer, inter-faith minister, mother, grandmother, friend and Mystic.
Ever since my mother died in 2005 I realized that at the moment of death and for a few days following there is a profound opportunity for healing. I turned my ministry toward the goal of inspiring and empowering others to reclaim the lost art and healing ritual of home-based after death care. When we lean consciously into this liminal space, allow ourselves to feel the depths of our fear, love and sorrow we are re-arranged and never the same.
The work is tender, raw, honest, gentle, real, alive and deeply satisfying. I fall in love over and over again and become more and more aligned to my true purpose – to help change the culture of death and dying from fear to love.
I feel the expansive field of work with the dying and their families is Death Midwifery and includes the role of Spiritual end-of-life counselor, death doula, home funeral guide, funeral planner, celebrant and even funeral director and care giver. The Art of Death Midwifery training program was designed to cover all aspects of the work.
If you have any questions about death and dying; about a loved-one’s journey or personal inquiries about trainings please write: sacredcrossings@gmail.com
Learn why Olivia became a Death Midwife in her blog post.
Listen to Olivia’s recent podcast below.
Ask the Death Midwife
Book your appointment with Olivia
If you would like to schedule a call with Olivia, please email her at sacredcrossings@gmail.com. Please provide your desired discussion topic and the best phone number to reach you.
There is no charge for appointments.
Book your session today!
Thank you!
What is a Death Midwife?
A Death Midwife provides information, guidance and support to both the death journeyer and their family from terminal diagnosis through final disposition. The role combines that of spiritual counselor, death doula, home funeral guide and funeral celebrant.
What is the difference between a Death Midwife and Death Doula?
NEDA – The National End-of-Life Doula Alliance and NHFA – the National Home Funeral Alliance have gone to great lengths to standardize the definitions for death doula and home funeral guide. Please visit these sites for more information.
Why Should I Hire A Death Midwife?
“Dying is not something that happens to you, dying is something you do.” – Stephen Jenkinson
Dying is a journey, one that invites us into the depths of our human-ness. We may slide into valleys of sorrow one day and climb mountains that test our courage and endurance the next. We become deeply intimate with our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual components. This intimacy may be confronting and frightening but it may also be profoundly beautiful.
With support and guidance the death journey can be one of awe and gratitude, of expansive loving awareness never before imagined. It can be a journey filled with kindness and tenderness and peace. Our final days can be the best days of our lives, if we can surrender our resistance, welcome the unknown and fall open to receive love that is beyond our imaginings. Hiring a death midwife can help both you and your loved-ones.
“Who we think we are can’t do it, but who we really are can, so who we think we are must die in the process.” – Ram Dass
What to expect when hiring a Sacred Crossings Death Midwife
During the initial consultation, the midwife will help create a plan to address the emotional, spiritual and physical needs of both the individual and their family.
Subsequent visits may be monthly, weekly or daily depending on the needs of the family. We work closely with doctors, hospice, caregivers, clergy and out-of-town family members to provide comfort, guidance and support for a peaceful transition experience.
Our Death Midwifery services include:
~ In-home, hospital, or nursing home visits with you and your loved-one
~ Detailed reporting to next-of-kin unable to visit
~ Emergency room support after unexpected death
~ Holding space while life-support is discontinued (includes sacred singing, spiritual guidance, after-death rituals and body preparation if required)
~ Support with stillborn and infant death and bringing baby home for a home funeral
~ Finding a local, reputable hospice to meet your loved-ones needs
~ Assistance with completing advance directives for health care and death care
~ Assistance with fulfilling final wishes / healing relationships / putting things in order
~ Spiritual support including guided imagery, meditations and exercises to help alleviate anxiety and suffering
~ Guidance with completing the life-review and legacy project
~ Help with writing an autobiography or creating a video-biography as a legacy to loved one
~ Guidance with after death care of the body and dry-ice preservation for a home vigil and funeral (see FAQs for details)
~ Coordinating with a local funeral home for transportation and cremation or burial
~ Assistance with funeral service planning
~ Celebrant to officiate funerals, memorials and graveside services
If you have any questions about conscious dying or would like support for yourself or a loved-one, please contact Olivia directly at sacredcrossings@gmail.com.
Some typical questions have been…
~ My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer but refuses to talk about it. There are so many decisions to make, how do we move forward?
~ I want to have a home funeral, but my sister is too afraid – can you explain the process to her to help her understand the benefits?
~ My daughter had a stillbirth – the baby in the hospital morgue but she desperately wants to see him and his siblings need to have closure. We’re being told it’s not possible, what can we do?
~ My husband died suddenly and I just don’t know how to tell the children, they are 4 and 8. Help!
– My daughter died by suicide and I just can’t seem to move on – can you suggest a ritual I can do?
The Advance Death Care Directive
Shroud? Casket? Funeral? Cremation? Sea Burial?
There are so many decisions!
Write your wishes down in this digital planner.
"Relieve your loved ones from making these difficult decisions, complete your directive today!"
Contact Sacred Crossings
If you would like to join our e-mail list or have any questions about our education programs or funeral services, please complete the form below.
